Sampson decides to forget about Chivalry.
This morning was Sampson’s day to forgo chivalry. It wasn’t working for him, Lord knows he tries, but I gotta say, I don’t blame him. He tries to be a true gentleman, he does all the right things but sometimes you just have to say WOOOOF!! And mean it!
It all started with the cat before we even left the house. Sampson was just getting up to say good morning and walking across the living room when from under the dining room table and chairs, the cat started seriously hissing at him. To his credit, he ignored this insult. Partly because he has figured out the cat is insane and partly because he knows the cat lives here and it’s just not worth fighting with your roommates. The cat really is nuts. Lance the Cat has fallen on his head so many times that I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know where he is half the time. The first thing he did when we brought him home from Maine (he’s a Maine Coon Cat) was to fall down the spiral staircase. Since then he’s fallen off the porch multiple times, he fell out of the third story of the house in Maine and he’s run into the wall at full tilt more times than I can count. But he likes Sampson. After hissing at him, he comes over and starts rubbing up against Sampson’s legs and purring at him (I told you he’s nuts). Sampson just freezes and looks at me like there’s a rattlesnake winding its way around his legs with a look that just says – “Oh Lord, get him off me – he’s insane!” And I do. I let Lance the cat out on the porch with just a passing thought that maybe I won't find him on the porch in twenty minutes or so.
When we left the house, Sampson made a beeline for the crossing guard. Since he only got two milkbones yesterday, he’s concerned, worried really, that all may not be well in this magical place called “Milkbone-Land.” He pretty much ignored the girl with the purple hair. She hasn’t come through with a milkbone and he’s decided to give up on her. He didn’t even slow down. Sampson is a dog on a mission this morning. Next stop, the neighbor who came through with a milkbone yesterday, but alas, he wasn’t there today. At this point, a mild form of panic is setting in. Where do we go now? What’s happening in Milkbone-Land? I give Sampson one of his healthy cookies and he calms down and continues walking (2 minutes) sniffing (3 minutes) walking ( 1 minute) sniffing (3 minutes) walking ( 2 minutes), in other words, back to our usual routine.
After about 10 minutes, it dawns on Sampson that I have the really good cookies in my pocket. To heck with Milkbone-Land, I can get the really good stuff! Now he adds sniffing my pocket to his aforementioned routine. Sampson is much too well trained to beg, but sniffing and a “starving dog” look (which he has no doubt learned from the Labrador, who is the undisputed master of the mooch) is working for him. I can’t bear to watch a dog starve before my eyes and so on the second sniff, I break down and give him another cookie. All is well now, order has been restored to the universe. Ken has the really good stuff in his pocket and damn, the Labrador was right about the starving dog thing!
We run into the baggy pants gang, but they are involved (from what I can tell) in a heated discussion about a girl, or a girl on a music video, and all we get from them is “Yo, Yo, Navy.” They are talking in gibberish as usual. Sampson knows this group is nuts, so he ignores them as well.
Oh, back to the part about chivalry. Now we run into one our neighbors who has one of those tiny little dogs that looks like a small dust mop with a tail. She’s on a leash (the dog, not the neighbor) and she charges at Sampson barking with a high pitched yeep, yeep sort of bark. Sampson has already had one run in with a small insane animal today, so he decides that this is where he draws the line. He gives the little dustmop one big German Shepard WOOOOF! – and the dustmop begins running in panicked circles around our neighbor, which has the effect of tying her legs up in the leash. She tries to un-wind the leash, but Sampson and I are still looking at her wondering how she is going to get untangled (I don’t actually know what Sampson is thinking, but I’m guessing he thinks it’s pretty funny too). The more she un-winds the leash, the more the little dustmop keeps running in circles and tying her up. She’s starting to get very frustrated and I realize, as funny as this is, the polite thing to do is to move on as Sampson’s presence seems to be the cause of the dustmop’s panic attack.
When we get around the corner, Sampson gets another cookie just for the humor value. I just love starting my day with Sampson!
